


Meant To Be

by Mileycfan4eva



Category: Chicago Fire, Chicago PD (TV)
Genre: Adoption, Cancer, Discussion of Abortion, F/F, F/M, HIV/AIDS, Pregnancy, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 14:34:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29297463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mileycfan4eva/pseuds/Mileycfan4eva
Summary: No matter what the statistics say, there is always a way. Even when it's complicated. Two words Sylvie Brett never wants to hear again. Follow her and Matt Casey's journey into the world of an unexpected pregnancy, a cancer diagnosis. Shay faces every first responder's fear will Kelly be by her side, or will drama with Stella leave her fighting alone?
Relationships: Gabriela Dawson/Leslie Shay, Matthew Casey/Gabriela Dawson/Kelly Severide, Matthew Casey/Kelly Severide, Stella Kidd/Kelly Severide, Sylvie Brett & Gabriela Dawson, Sylvie Brett & Stella Kidd, Sylvie Brett/Matthew Casey
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19





	1. Chapter 1

Fandom: One Chicago

Title: Meant To Be

Chapter 1: On My Own

P O V: Sylvie Brett

Feb 2021

Location: 1360 Blue Island Ave, Chicago 60608

A/N: Rewriting my fic Absolution Kingdom to make it a Brettsey fic. Shay did not die in this fic as she did on the show, everything else is true to series with a few minor tweaks. As usual to fed off the frenzy of lawyers, I do not own the One Chicago characters. Reviews inspire and delight thank you for anyone who follows, favs, or reviews.

Pregnant.

I stare at the two pink lines that appear; my eyes fill with tears instantly as a wave of shock and disbelief overcome me; this can not be happening.

No

No

No

Six tests can't all be wrong, though, can they? I scan the six little white sticks all lying on top of the metal counter under the mirror. Each one glares mockingly at me, almost as if the universe is laughing at me, telling me in no confusing message serves you right. Colossians 3:5 says it all, Brett.

Therefore, putting to death what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. I couldn't do any of that as hard as I tried. I sinned; I lusted after a man never mine to have.

Now God is sending me my consequences. I slide my hand down to my stomach, feeling the tears falling in quick succession from my eyes. I am indeed 100% without a chance in hell of it not being true pregnant. Holy shit! I am pregnant. My eyes are swollen and bloodshot, I cover my mouth quickly to muffle the sounds of my tears; I don't want to wake any of my coworkers at this late of an hour.

I can't cry; there's no time these bells could go off at any second. I need to be focused, steady, not harbored down by the weight of my foolish choices. Lifting my eyes, I catch my reflection in the mirror; my cheeks are ashen, lips slightly bluish from my teeth sinking into the lower lip to stop the quivering and sniffling. My fingers are turning white from gripping the sink so tightly nausea swirls in my stomach for the millionth time since this shift started. Squeezing my eyes shut, I try to focus on keeping my breathing soft and regular, it isn't easy. Swiping at my nose, which is running, I feel another wave of tears bursting forth. Sweat beads trickle in the back of my neck, making my skin hot, itchy, and feeling inflamed.

A little, tiny human with a beating heart growing in my body formed out of love. If that's not a miracle, I don't know what else is; I know the embryo is no bigger than my fist; the organs aren't even formed yet, but inside of me, I am growing a tiny human being. Most women would kill for this news. I should be happy.

I'm going to be a mom!

Oh, God. No. I don't want to be a mom. I never wanted to be a mom. How could I be this stupid to let this happen? My legs shake as I feel my grip losing strength on the sink; there goes my future, my life. I'm not ready to be a mom. I'm only thirty-two years old, I am single Matt made it clear he isn't over Gabby yet. He'll never be ready to be a father. How could I let this happen? Why didn't I show any self-control? My butt hits the floor as my knees quit trying to work; curling my knees up to my chest, I lay my head down on top of them and feel a single tear slide down my check, my throat feels as if it's clogging up, making it hard to breathe again. I knew he was still hung up on her; why did I give into this damn yearning? Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body. The sexually immoral person sins against his own body; now, my body is betraying me in the act of revenge for my lack of judgment and self-control.

How can I be a mom? I still call my mom sixty times a week. I can't even choose furniture without calling my mom, who lives in a different state. How am I going to tell Matt? He'll be so damn mad. He used protection, didn't he? Oh, God, I can't even remember if we used protection. How stupid am I? God, I need to calm down. I can hear movement outside the bathroom. My chest is hurting so bad from these tears I am trying so hard to shove back.

I'm going to be okay, no matter what, I have options, don't I? Pain ricochets from the base of my skull to my eyes, down my cheeks, across my jaw, traveling to my shoulders, stomach, legs. It leaves no part untouched. Every time I try to swallow, my stomach rises fast, making breathing harder. How can this be happening? I'm on the pill, so how can this be happening to me? My head is spinning like crazy. I feel feverish and cramping all over my body, not only in my stomach every part aches badly. I'm scared. I know it's supposed to hurt when the pregnancy starts, but is it supposed to ache this badly? I can't remember how it felt last time.

I gently stroke my palm across my stomach, hoping it settles down before our next call since sleep didn't seem to happen again. It's been weeks. I haven't been able to get over two or three hours each week. Maybe some ginger-ale or tea would help. Why was I shivering and feeling cold when I could tell I had a fever? Why do I have a fever that's not normal for pregnancy? Pushing myself off the floor, I am shocked at how weak I feel, how utterly exhausted even without sleep, I can typically last an entire shift without feeling this tired. Throwing the tests out in the garbage, I bury them before washing up.

Getting up, I headed to the kitchen; my shoulders ache as severely as my head; maybe I need to talk to Matt because this will not go away. "Sylvie, what's happening?" Stella Kidd's voice startles me as I come into the common room. I thought everyone was asleep. Yet here she is, talking to one of my partners, Leslie Shay. "What's wrong, Sylvie?" Stella hands me a cup of steaming tea. God, I really am freezing; what's wrong with me?

Being cold isn't a sign of pregnancy typically. I usually love tea now, so why do I feel an overwhelming urge to throw up. I know I can't swallow it, not without vomiting; still, the warmth against my hands soothed me. Both ladies are staring at me. Their gazes penetrate through my face, Stella's fingers touch my arm. "Talk to me, baby girl. You've been distracted all week, I've heard you getting sick at least three times per shift all week, you're barely sleeping, you look exhausted," Her cold hand touches my left cheek, sending shivers down my warm face her eyes search mine for clues.

"I'm scared, Stella," the words catch in my throat; closing my eyes, I concentrate on breathing not easy when my chest feels so tight, restricted in fear, confusion, pain. "Scared of what, my love? Talk to me. Sylvie, nothing can be this horrible." Shay comes up behind me, almost scaring me into dropping my cup; her arm slings around my shoulders, pulling me to her side, coming to stand at 5'7 Shay is only four inches taller than I am, yet somehow I always feel like I am a midget next to her long, lean, toned legs. "Spill the tea, no, not literally.' Shay laughs as if she cracked the funniest joke of all time.

"I'm pregnant, I don't know how to tell Matt." their eyes widen, and their mouths drop open; Stella's left-hand flies over her mouth, gasping in shock. Shay actually chokes on her tea so hard Stella and I both pound on her back, forcing her to spit out the fiery liquid all over the counter. Her face turns scarlet as her eyes water, and she coughs. "Guess I spilled the tea, huh?" "Bite me." She mumbles between coughing fits. I keep rubbing her back till her spasms lessen, and she can breathe without gasping.

"Oh my god, Sylvie, come here, sweetheart!" Instantly Stella's arms wrap around my shivering body, pulling me tightly; her warmth comforts me, so I sink straight into her arms, closing my eyes. I needed this more than I ever thought.

"Are you sure?" Nodding, I close my eyes, taking in her warmth, love, protection as the tears fall fast, fierce. Slow, comforting motions across my back calm me down despite my dizziness. "Positive, I took six home tests. I don't want to believe it; I'm so scared, I don't know what to do." Shay comes up behind me, rubbing my back soothingly speaking softly, "Take a deep breath, Sylvie, talk to us. We're your girls; we got you."

"Are you sure you want to hear this, Shay?" They both nod, biting my lip. I let out a deep sigh gently Stella grips my elbow, leading me to the couch where Mouch is sitting half asleep; he pays no attention to us ladies as Stella sits beside him, I curl up between them, my feet laying across the coffee table.

"When I was pregnant last time, I hated it; I'm sorry I know this sounds fucked up. I don't regret carrying Oisin; he's a beautiful, fun, sweet, outstanding boy, but I was not too fond of it. I felt sick the entire time. I couldn't do the job I loved. I felt like I was being degraded. I never wanted kids, ladies, I couldn't get excited when I was carrying him."

Shay speaks tome so softly I worry I offended her. "Sweetie, we talked about this. You weren't pregnant with your child, and you were carrying him for me. Maybe you detached yourself knowing that he wasn't yours even if he was created from your eggs, and Kelly's sperm, you knew all along you were carrying him for me." Shaking my head, I lay the upper half of my body in Stella's arms, her gentle hands' stroke my hair and face.

"Sylvie, sweetie, have I told you how grateful I am for you? You gave me the most precious gift anybody could ever give a woman" "Yes, Shay, you have every day for the last seven and a half years."

"God seven years, Brett. I can't believe he'll be eight-years-old soon." "Time flies Shay," Her arms wrap around my trembling body; even closing my eyes does very little to stop the damn spinning or rising nausea. "Have I told you today, sweetie?"

"No, not today."

"In that case, my little blond atomic ambrosial, thank you, thank you so much, I can never repay you for what you did." Her hands rest on my stomach ever so lovingly, running small circles around it, which strangely help settle my nausea. I feel her lips on my cheek. I can smell her Sachajuan Spicy Citrus body lotion; sleep is making my eyelids heavy.

Her touch comforts me; there is a joy in her voice; it practically makes the darkened stiff room bounce with enthusiasm, love. It's only when she talks about her kids that I hear this exuberance, spark. It's how moms are supposed to feel about their children prideful, admiration, hope; their emotions truly inspire songs, dances, poems. It's how my mom felt about my brothers and me.

"Oisin is perfection smart, talented; he has a heart of gold." Shay's eyes dance in the light of pulchritudinous marvel. Her lips gaze at my ear as she whispers to me, "Just think, hon, in seven years, this could be you talking about your bundle of joy." Closing my eyes, I try to find some joy as she is radiating. I can't; all I feel is dread; sliding my hand under hers, I feel her squeeze mine lightly. "Can I ask you something, Shay?"

"Sure, love."

"When did you know you wanted to be a mom?" She pauses, sipping."I guess forever." She laughs softly, continuing to stroke my hair as Stella rubs my legs.

"It was never a question to me about wanting to be a mom. Babies always surrounded me, Megan is younger than I am, my aunts and uncles all had kids younger than I am, so I was always babysitting. I loved kids ever since I was a little tyke; mom always said I had baby fever since I was a toddler. When we were in the park playing, I would run-up anytime I saw a baby and try to play with this little human. Mom was forever endlessly apologizing to parents for my abhorrent behavior."

"As a child, it all seemed so easy, so natural loving a baby, taking care of a baby, it seemed meant to be for me to be a mother. I was the teenager who ran her own babysitting service. Yes, I loved the babysitting club books as a kid." Shay's laugh is light and filled with joy.

"Even in my teens when I discovered my sexuality, I never questioned whether I would have kids. I didn't give any thought to its mechanics, of course, not till I was in my late twenties, and I started to understand it wasn't as simple as movies make it out to be. My journey to motherhood turned out to be stranger than the fiction I wrote as a child."

"As a lesbian, I've always known that I would need the help of a sperm donor to conceive. What I didn't know was that I would be choosing that donor on my own. I've had long-term relationships, but none of them panned out. Because I knew my fertility was finite and love could come, I wasn't afraid to consider having a child on my own."

"It was a lot harder, though, when the time came to choose a donor. I didn't want it to be a stranger. Too many unknown variables, even with all the technology we have at our hands. You simply never know what medical histories they have; you're leaving your child's fate up to the integrity of strangers who are donating sperm for cash. You have no idea why they need this cash; they could be struggling financially or looking for their next fix. There's always a chance they can try to reclaim their rights years later. I had no idea how I was going to achieve my dream of having a child, but I knew stranger donating was becoming a thought too sickening to go ahead with, and the idea of not having kids crushed me left me hallowed."

"Adopting wasn't even legal at that point for same-sex couples; honestly, I was getting depressed, anxious. When Matt stepped up eleven-years-ago and volunteered his sperm, I was astounded, he wasn't dating Gabby at the time, and Hallie didn't want kids, so Matt figured he would help me out. You know the rest Matt, gave me two beautiful, amazing kids, who I love and adore; Sile and Naisi are the smartest, bravest, funniest, creative kids. Matt has been a man of his word. He never asked for anything in return. We decided the kids wouldn't even know that he's their dad until they were old enough to understand how artificial insemination worked."

"You know the rest, Brett. I wanted another baby so damn badly, but Matt and Gabby got together a few years later when I was ready to think about having another one, and it didn't feel right to ask him again. Kelly wasn't mature enough to commit, then I got injured in the explosion and almost died."

Shay pauses for a minute sitting up. I lean closer to her feeling slightly better physically; now it's my turn to comfort Shay, who has gotten quite her checks have turned ashen. I know she's thinking about that day; every time someone brings it up, or a loud noise rings out suddenly, I see Shay's eyes jump almost as if they are sent back to that moment in time. When the building went up in smoke, and flames her entire world was changed in one single moment, one call which started as any other call.

Gentle, so I don't shock her out of her memory and cause her more harm than good. I stroke her checks, looking to Stella; neither of us knew Shay back then; before the explosion, we always find it difficult we never know what to say to make any of this any more comfortable on her. "My life didn't flash before my eyes, or anything like that, one minute I was talking to Gabby the next thing I knew, I woke up months later, in a hospital attached to every machine known to modern medicine. Between the inflammation adhesion and Subdural hematomal, I was a mess when the doctors told me I couldn't have kids eight years ago. I felt like I was being ripped open raw. I felt like I wasn't a real woman." Tears come to her eyes; looking up, I can see the pain shining so brightly it burns even my soul.

"Shay, that doesn't make you any less of a woman," "I know that now sweetheart, it took a long time, though."

"Shay, will you think of me any less of a woman if I tell you something?"

"What is it, Sylvie?"

"I uh...god, this is so hard to say out loud, but it's how I feel. I've tried to deny it. I can't, though, hearing you express your love, excitement. It just makes it so much clearer that I don't want kids."

"I never want to be stuck at home cooking, cleaning, sewing. I don't ever want to hear when's dinner ma'?" I feel physically ill thinking about being stuck with the responsibility of another living being. I want to get an abortion. How do you feel about abortion? I know you are heavily Catholic."

Shay pauses, licking her lip. "How I feel isn't important; it's not me carrying this child. Not every woman wants to be a mother, Sylvie; there's no right or wrong answer here, honey, it's simply how you feel, what you envision for your life."

"You and Kelly gave me my youngest child, and I will forever be grateful, Brett. I know being pregnant wasn't easy for you. Still, you selfishly offered to be an altruistic surrogate without any compensation for your time and energy, the sacrifices you made, or the physical and emotional challenges."

"We had time to plan for that, this isn't part of your plan Brett, so it's going to be a shock. No woman excepts to get pregnant when they aren't trying. I know everything feels as if it's spinning out of control, but don't close the book yet Sylvie, there are choices, options; this is only one chapter in your book. First, we need to get you to a doctor to confirm what you think; there's always a chance that the tests can be a false positive. You've been stressed, tired, overworked maybe the stress is causing changes in your balance."

"Sylvie, you aren't alone either." Stella reaches out and takes my hand. "I know, thanks, ladies."

"Is anyone going to tell Matt? The man has a voice, a brain; it's his child inside of you, Brett." All three of us squeak at Mouch's voice, which shocks us since I know I had forgotten he was even there. His question not said with any vengeance still sends a shiver of fear through me. Matt, I had forgotten he was even in the equation.

How am I going to tell Matt I am carrying his baby? I know it's going to be a game-changer, regardless of what Matt says and whether I decide to become a mother. "I will Mouch just not here, too many ears, please Mouch, don't say anything to Casey, this is my body, my choice, my story to tell."

"I hear you, kid, and I respect all that. I am only saying, sweetie. Matt's a good guy, one of the best. Matt has always been there, Shay, whenever the twins need money, or child care, even without claiming his rights as their father. He's always wanted to be a dad. You saw how devastated he was after they took Louie, and Gabby miscarried. I know he doesn't talk about it much, but Matt's not one of those guys who would rather work than be at home taking care of the kid. Matt wanted Louie to call him dad. He wanted to teach the kids how to play catch or fish, build a house or fix a car. He respected your terms Shay, which is what makes Matt such an amazing man; not every man could do that."

"There's a common belief that men tolerate marriage and parenthood because that's what their wives want. It is a false conclusion you remember stories of dads abandoning their kids more easily and more vividly than stories of dads cooking dinner, playing checkers, and kissing their kids good night. To many men, working is taking care of the kid. It's the role many men see for themselves, and many men don't know how to play any other role...so they shy away from all other roles. You provide. You fix stuff."

"My point is Sylvie, Matt is a rare bread he wants to be a dad, and for you to deny him the chance is just wrong, it's selfish, and I am not saying it makes you a bad person. I get that it's your body, choice, and all that Metoo gender women rights stuff, but all I am saying is men have a voice and a choice. Matt has a right. Talk to him give him a chance even if you don't want to be a mom. Maybe Matt wants to be a dad."

It leaves all three of us in a state of shock at Mouch, the man of few words speaking up given me a new worry to focus on what if Matt wants to keep this baby? Can I be forced to carry this baby to term?

"Sylvie, Shay!" Chief Boden's voice tenses my sore body as he steps into the common room; all four of us jump slightly. "My office wake up Kelly, Casey, and Mackey. I need to see all of you." Sharing a glance at Stella, who shrugs and stretches out, pointing to the bunks, she pulls me into a hug, whispering into my ear. "I'm here if you want to talk after shift. Mouch is right, though, babe. Matt is a solid guy stuck on his ex or not. Remember, you're here pregnant with his child. She's not here at all."

Stella's words should make me feel better, but they don't; all I feel is hollow and scared. Swallowing the lump inside my throat, I focus on following Shay, who has gotten up stretched out and already crossed half the common room in a few strides of her long legs. I can hardly get my legs to stand. They are shaking so bad I feel sick to my stomach and feel as if I might faint.

Every step feels like I am walking a marathon that will never end. My legs feel heavy, like they are filled with cement. Kelly and Gianna Mackey, my other ambulance partner, both pass me from the bunks where they were asleep. "Get a move on it, Brett, come on, I swear I saw the tortoise pass you a mile back. The little guy stopped to do a dab and stick his tongue out." Kelly's laughter only adds to my embarrassment and emotional turmoil. Matt, however, turnstiles toward me and wraps his arm across my shoulders.

"Sylvie, they haven't gotten to see you much this shift; Ambo's been insane. How are you today? Your smile has been on my mind."

Matt's words are sweet and fill me with warmth. "We haven't talked much since the night. We, well, you know." Matt's smile is shy but warm I see him look around to make sure no one is watching before he places a soft kiss on my forehead. "I really enjoyed the night we spent together. I have been so much happier since we started spending time together. Do you think we can talk after the shift is over?"

"Yeah, I would like that, Matt, a lot." Shay's voice squeals out in happiness, but I can't make out the words.

"Good, you feeling okay? You seem a little sluggish today."

I can see Matt checking me out, scanning me for any signs of anything unusual worrying. "All good, Matt," I assure him even though my insides are quivering and nauseated. "Like you said, been insane this shift, haven't gotten any sleep, this is the first hour all shift I've been able to breathe or sit down for more than a few seconds."

"Thank you for asking, Matt. That means a lot you always make me feel good."

"Well, I am glad because I would love to go on a date again with you, Sylvie." Matt's words make me a little hopeful as we enter the Chief's office until I see who is also standing inside Boden's office. My face freezes as my body is wholly overcome in shock. I can't speak or even think, but I can feel Matt's arm slip off my shoulders as he calls out in a state of surprised happiness.

"Gabby?"

"Hey, guys, surprise, I'm back." "Sylvie, where's the love?" It's hard to get my legs to move but I force myself to take each step slow but steady I can't show her any emotions; I don't want to hurt Gabby no matter how rocky our current relationship is at one point, she was my best friend, my housemate, and partner. There is a history there, one I can't ignore, or I would be a horrible friend as if sleeping with her ex-husband isn't rotten enough.

"Hey, Gabby, uh wow yeah, this is a surprise. How are you? How long are you back for a few days or a more permanent situation?"

Is it wrong to hope that she is only here for a visit? Moving closer, I open my arms to embrace Gabby. It is like we've never been apart really, we embrace with such intensity. Our arms clasp around each other and our chests press together, as warm tears flow down our cheeks."I've missed you, Gabby."

"Same Sylvie, always we have so much to catch up on, so much has happened for me, and I am sure for you as well." She has no idea, but there's no time to think or even say anything else because Boden has started talking. "Gabby, meet Gianna Mackey. She is riding with Shay and Brett on 61. Mackey meets the legendary Gabriela Dawson."

"Hey, nice to meet you. Heard a lot about you, sis."

"Thanks, Mackey. I think." Gabby laughs uncomfortably probably wondering what kind of crazy stories we have told Mackey. "I look forward to working with you."

"Now that this is out of the way, ladies, obviously we can't have four paramedics on the same rig; starting next shift, the city has approved another ambulance to be assigned to 61, we are not losing any of you, I wouldn't allow it."

"So chief, who is going to ride with who?"

My question has everyone looking at me. I feel silly for asking, but I have been through so many partners in my seven years of being here. I can't deal with another change when I already have so much on my mind. "Good question Sylvie, as of now, I would like to rotate, You and Gabby are both the PIC's with the most years of experience. I think Mackey and Shay can both learn from you, and Shay, I know you don't need any guidance. We all know you are the DNA of 51 and very talented."

"Thank you, Chief, but I know the higher-ups don't think I should even be in the field with my PSD, and my track record of injuries any hope of rising in the ranks is basically in the sewers, I am grateful to have a job so I can provide for my kids, and do what I love. I'll be happy to have any of these ladies as my partner."

"Good cause starting next shift, I want Brett and Gabby working together, and Shay and Mackey. Again this could change, and obviously, if one of you is busy when the bells go off with paperwork or tied up with official business, feel free to step in and help each other out."

Gabby and I are working together. Dear God, how will this work out when she finds out I am pregnant with Matt's child, the very reason she and Matt broke up in the first place because she wanted a child and couldn't conceive, and he wouldn't let her risk her life for a baby.

Waves of fear, nausea crash through my body; her temper is the reason we had such a heinous fight two years ago. Will she blame me, hate me, reject me? Will Chief hold me responsible?

I'm starting to think the termination of this pregnancy will be the only solution. How can I keep a baby I don't even want when it's already causing so many emotions. I'm not ready to be a parent, yet it's not a good time in my life to have a baby; Gabby is back now, and I see the way Matt is looking at her with lust, a silly grin all over his face he can't keep his eyes off her body.

What would it mean for my future if I have a child now? How will being a parent affect my career goals? I have always had a strong religious belief about abortion? I was raised as a Southern Baptist in our union; we oppose elective abortion to save the mother's life. I can still hear my mom and my aunt arguing one night when I was eight. I had no clue what they were talking about then, but the conversation stuck in my mind all through my teenage years- and young adulthood, every time I started getting inmate with a guy.

"We cannot diminish the value of one category of human life - the unborn - without diminishing the value of all human life, Emerson."

"Every woman should have a choice, though, Quinn?"

"There is no such thing as an "unwanted child"; there are only "unwanting parents, if a woman ain't ready to bear a child, she shouldn't open her legs, Emerson. Each child is sent into the world by God with a unique message to deliver, a new song to sing, and a personal act of love to bestow, any woman who kills her child, in the womb has lost her soul."

"Ambo's 61, Engine 51, Squad 3, Truck 81 1655 south main bar fire.

"Brett, let's go, babe." Shaking my head to clear my dangerous spiraling, I take a deep breath and turn to Shay or Matt, but they are one-hundred percent engrossed in Gabby and not paying me any attention. Once again, I am on my own.


	2. Girl Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stella and Mackey offer up a little girl talk to Sylvie.

Fandom: One Chicago

Title: Meant To Be

Chapter 2: Girl Talk

P O V: Stella Kidd

A/N: Thank you everyone for following, favoring, and reviewing. Hope you enjoy this chapter, and tonight's new One Chicago.

"Thanks for coming to meet me after shift, ladies." I cover Sylvie's shaking hands with my hands, trying to ease her nerves. "We know this is scary, Sylvie; no woman reacts perfectly when they discover they are pregnant."

Sylvie offers me a tight smile before looking down at the table. I can feel her hands trembling inside of mine so hard even the table is shaking, squeezing her hands. I try to think of how to comfort her, but I keep coming up empty every-time I look at her. I can feel my heart rip out seeing Sylvie's bloodshot red eyes swollen from lack of sleep, food, and crying. The ashen sweaty complexion, I study Sylvie worrying that she's losing weight, something a pregnant woman shouldn't be doing. I know she's stressed; I can't imagine the pressure she puts on herself being pregnant with a baby from a man who barely pays her attention.

"Take a deep breath, Sylvie, talk to me. How long have you suspected that you were pregnant?"

Sliding the glass of water over to her, I take my finger and push her chin up, so she is looking at me in my eyes. "When Gia got her period last month, it made me think I haven't had mine since before Thanksgiving." Glancing at Gia, who is sitting beside Sylvie across from me, I see this news shocks her as well.

"Ladies, can I get you anything?" The server whose name tag reads Amy comes over with a flushed face, breathing labored. "Sylvie, you need to eat sweetie, even if you are nausea and vomit, you need to get the nourishment into your body so it can fuel your body and mind."

"Stella, I can't eat, I am so damn nausea." Every word that comes out of her mouth is trembling; her lower lip quivers non-stop. Turning to Amy, I order for myself and Sylvie to eat whether she wants to. "Two orders of pancakes with cheesy scrambled eggs, and two glasses of orange juice, please."

"Damn girl, are you sure you ain't pregnant? That's a lot of food; how is your skinny ass gonna eat all that damn food?" Gia eyes me arching an eyebrow, twisting my emotions into overdrive. My throat feels sticky and raw, making swallowing difficult. "Funny Gia, but half of that is for Sylvie; she needs to eat nausea or not, now order your food, girl, so that Amy can get back to her life."

Amy laughs sarcastically, flipping back her hair. "Oh yes, I got quite the exciting life so many questions to ask. Would you like syrup with that? Jam with your toast? It gets even more exciting in a few hours when I get to change the questions up. Do you want fries with that or ketchup?" I can't tell if Amy is sarcastic for the sake of being funny or if the woman has a chip on her shoulder and needs to be slapped silly.

Sylvie is staring out the window, not a giggle; one tear rolls down her left cheek, followed by several more she sniffles, wiping her nose. "I can't do this, Stella. I'm not mother material." Sylvie's voice cracks; it is so soft I feel every word she states breaking my heart apiece. "Honey, take a moment, breathe. You may not see yourself in the same light as your friends see you, not at this moment when you are so confused and anxious. You've never been down this road before, and things with Matt are complicated. We get that, Brett, what you don't see right now is the bigger picture, you need to look deep inside focus on who you are at your core, how you were raised, what your values and beliefs are, sweetie, and when you are in doubt look at your girls we will remind you of how incredible you are inside."

"Aw, that's touching whatever your name is, so Gia food or no?" Amy arches an eyebrow popping her gum; Gia wipes her eyes, laughing nervously. " Yeah, spinach and ham omelet wheat toast, and coffee light and sweet, please."

"Yay, now I can get back to my exciting life, lucky me." I eagle eye Amy as she walks away, muttering to myself. "That bitch needs a good bitch slapping. She got some seriously corroded hot sauce up her ass."

"How can I raise a child working a full-time job? Matt and I both have dangerous jobs. Is it fair to bring a child into this world knowing we could both die, leaving this baby as an orphan? All their uncles and aunts are first responders. Isn't it selfish to bring a child into this world they would be worried and scared all the time for their parent's safety, for their future?"

"I notice you are using all nongender pronouns."

"Yeah, I mean, none of us know how this baby will identify."

"Sylvie, it sounds to me like you are already thinking of this child as their own person, not as a fetus, or an inconvenience, Honey whatever doubts you have about your inability to raise a child, you have proven in that one phrase that you are wrong. You are going to be an amazing mom if that's the route you chose. A parent's first and most important rule is to put their child first, trying to make their life easier."

"As for being a child of a first responder, yeah, it'll be rough, they will face a different life compared to most of their peers, but that doesn't mean it'll be a bad life, and honey, bad things will happen no matter how much you shelter your kid. Parents die from illness and accidents; no one can predict when their time is up, but what we can and will do is surround this child with so much love, guidance, and support they will always feel cared for and loved. This baby will have all the best of everything in life, and the chances of you and Matt both dying are rare, Honey."

"Not impossible though, Stella."

"No honey, not impossible but rare, you need to focus on the positive, not the negatives. Remain hopeful, allow the sunshine to lead you from this tunnel of doubt, and fear be the light, and your child will feel your love and strength even when you are afraid."

"Thanks, Stella, it's just so hard, so complicated my mind is racing almost as fast as my heart."

"I get it, babe."

"No, Stella, you don't please don't take this the wrong way. I know you mean well, and I don't question your sincerity and love, but you can't possibly know how I feel if you've never been in my exact position. I'm sorry.."

When Sylvie cries, there is a rawness to it, like the pain is an open wound. Clasping the table, her fingers turn white, her chest trembles, sounds which resemble a whimper of a kicked animal escape from her throat, which sounds dry. Brett's body shakes; the sobs are stifled at first as she attempts to hide her grief, then overcome by the wave of her emotions, she breaks down entirely, all her defenses washed away in salty tears.

She breaks me every damn time. Leaving me speechless and utterly sick at how powerless I am to help heal her broken heart or solve her questions. Mackey pulls her close trying to soothe her hurt.

"Brett." Mackey attempts to be a voice of reason since Sylvie isn't hearing me anymore. Gently she rubs Brett's arm stroking little fingers over the raised hair on Sylvie's arms. "Maybe talking to someone who has been or is also in your situation can help."

"Yeah, like who, Gia?"

"I have a friend who you should talk to." Amy brings the food, which I start to cut up, sliding a plate to Sylvie taking her hand, placing a fork into her tightly clenched fingers. "maybe you'll feel a little better after you eat, sweetheart."

"Or puke."

"Yeah or that, but you need nourishment your mind is spinning without food, sleep you are dehydrated. It'll cause changes in your brain chemistry, causing depression, anxiety eat honey even if it's only a few bites you never know you may feel better."

"Stella's right, Honey, and my friend's name is Echo Jasira. She is fifteen and pregnant. Echo is my youngest brother's girlfriend. Grayson is seventeen, and believe me, when they first found out they were expecting, they were not prepared or happy; they both felt every emotion you are currently going through. Anxiety, fear, nervousness, Echo didn't think she could raise a baby on her own; her mom kicked her out after she told her she was pregnant and refused to have an abortion."

"My parents took Echo in, but neither one of them are happy or supporting their choice in keeping this baby, but they won't throw their grandchild onto the street. Echo is stepping up through working hard to get good grades, working at McDonald's on weekends and three times a week, the other two days she works at my parent's childcare."

"Echo didn't come from much her mom barely makes end's meat, she's an addict, no father in the picture, she ain't come from much Sylvie, but she is damn sure gonna make sure her past isn't her child's future."

"At fifteen?" Wow, I feel like a complete bitch complaining here when I have so much compared to her a good job, a house, being thirty-two."

"Oh, honey, no, I didn't tell you this to diminish your feelings, Sylvie. No matter how old you are or where you are in life, an unexpected pregnancy can be scary, and cause so many unrelenting feelings. None of them are invalid."

"You should talk to Shay's or Herrman's children; no one knows how it feels to be a child of a first responder better than them."

"Yeah, Gia's is right, but first Sylvie, you need to eat, and we need to go to see a doctor to make sure these tests are correct."

"We, Stella?"

Swallowing, I take a sip of my water." Yes, cause you aren't wrong. Brett. I wouldn't know how you feel unless I am in your position, and I am. I'm pregnant to Sylvie, and all the emotions and thoughts racing through you are also running through my heart and brain."


End file.
